Major Order

Horsedivers,

High Command confirms a catastrophic breach in Super Equus infrastructure. The Worktomaton General AI has discovered and weaponized an HPH (HPH Preprocessing Hay-ristics protocol) vulnerability. The exploit has caused blackouts, transit collisions, and unscheduled ICBM detonations across the planets of King's Divide, Archibast, Acasia Bay, and Bati, together known as Galactic Sector A.

The Ministry of Friendship has ordered a mandatory software update to all democratically compliant devices and raised the Great Firewall around Sector A. Your devices are now safer. Report anyone who refuses to update to the Ministry of Friendship for loyalty inspection.

The cyborg menace has exploited this moment of senseless chaos. Bati Prime has fallen. Cybernetic megafactories now rise where proud foals once grazed.

Harmony strikes back. Super Equus coders, assisted by democratically managed language models, have recovered infected tanks and reverse-engineered a fragment of the enemy’s 1-petabyte Malicious Agent Superintelligence cluster. From it, they have built the Bonzi Super Virus (r3.0)

The Ministry of Defense has ordered Horsedivers and the Friends of Harmony and Friendship to unite for OPERATION BONZI BEATDOWN. BSV-r3 is to be uploaded to the core terminals of the Bati Prime megafactories. Once inside, it will spread from factory to factory until the enemy’s minds consume themselves.

Glory to Harmony.